(This isn't the one we posted on Facebook, but I liked it best)
So this was no surprise baby, this was an active waiting and an "I hate my period for telling me bad news, you suck but I guess I'll wait for next month" kind of pregnancy. We prayed for it:)
A week before my period, I started taking those "know 6 days sooner than your missed period" preggers tests and they were all negative. When my monthly gift from mother nature didn't arrive on schedule, I wanted to believe I was pregnant (because I am more regular than a clock) [PS I just asked Jordan what things are regular, because I wanted something better than a clock and he told me, "an old man on Metamucil or Ex lax." Thanks babe, thanks. That's why it's still clock.] but didn't want my high hopes to be crushed. I ended up taking 2-3 pregnancy tests a day for almost a week. ALL NEGATIVE. Okay I know that seems a bit excessive but those who know me, know how badly I want this. Next, I went to the health center to do a blood test. She let me know that this test would tell me simply "pregnant" or "not". After painful waiting, they told me the result was "slightly positive".
I'm sorry, I'm kind of pregnant?
Yes, I guess I was. The doctor told me that I was in fact pregnant but the results from the test led her to believe that my body didn't have enough hormones to sustain a pregnancy. She told me to expect a miscarriage.
Naturally I was devastated. I cried and cried and prayed and prayed. I was angry, sad, frustrated, confused, and probably hungry too. I expected a miscarriage and I wouldn't allow my hopes to get up. After a while, I learned something that gave me a lot of comfort. I realized that if for some reason this should end, it would. I knew how much I loved my little baby already and knew how much Heavenly Father loved it too. I knew that it would hurt me to see it leave and realized that it probably made Him sad too. I knew that Heavenly Father wanted to see our baby grow in this world, but if for some reason that wasn't the case, He had a reason. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but that gave me such comfort when I needed it so badly.
A few days later, the same doctor I had met with had taken my blood test to the local hospital to do a more detailed test. She emailed me back, said everything looked good and that we were pregnant. I finally allowed myself at that point to be happy, to actually FEEL pregnant and to stop expecting the worst. We were more excited than words can describe.
I wanted to tell our parents in a creative way, but found it difficult from hundreds of miles away. We skyped Jordan's family and when they were all together, we showed them a "late birthday present" for Jordan's dad, Jeff. We showed them a BYU-Idaho hat and as it got closer to the screen, they were able to see that it said "Grandpa" on it. They were thrilled. We tried face timing my parents but the timing was bad and we tried not to make it seem urgent--we didn't want to give anything away. So I'm not very creative so this next part is a little lame. I had texted my mom and told her that I needed help with a word game app on my phone. During the call, I asked her to figure out a three word phrase because I was stuck. I told her I had the first two words but was stuck on the last. The phrase was " Ew Rae Pangtern". I was hoping she would figure it out on the phone with me there but she was distracted, didn't care too much about a word game and said she'd call me later. She called me back in less than a minute, asking if it was true and was ecstatic, I heard my dad in the background "cool".
So I definitely hate this whole "don't know the gender, so have to call baby it" thing. I find myself saying he and she interchangeably. I can't wait to find out but I'll be patient. So for now, we are calling our little child "Baby Bean". Our last name is Bohne (pronounced Bonnie for those who haven't got it yet) and in German it means "bean" or "dropping". We certainly weren't going to call it "Baby Dropping"(that may become more appropriate later) so we are happily calling our love, Baby Bean.
Okay I know this post is super long, I've just had a few requests with more info and everything and I just like to talk and type. Before our appointment, we figured our due date (thanks to the 99 pregnancy apps I have) to be December 6th. At the apt, the doctor said I wasn't as far along as that and my due date is December 15th. I like the 6th better, she's wrong.
Alright maybe not, I just like being farther along. I've been feeling tired and nauseous and dizzy and hungry and bladder fully but other than that it's been good. I could do without the nausea but the first trimester is almost over and hopefully those nasty symptoms go with it.
I am so excited and so blessed. I know many of my friends see me as outrageous, goofy, and sometimes immature and they may be thinking that I'm not ready for a baby. Who is? I'll hopefully get along with our baby well because I'm so much of a kid but I will love Bean unconditionally, I am more excited than I can express and I pray each day to grow and become the best mother I can be.